How Many High School Valedictorians Join The Military?
I have to ask a question in light of today’s vote in the United States Senate where the entire Republican minority stood firm against repealing the military’s ban of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’ For the past year there has been much talk about the need for the Democratic congress to work for gay men and women who serve the nation in uniform, but have to live a life of lies and secrets. There has been no shortage of demands made that DADT be repealed. While I know the policy is wrong, I also feel that the policy helps to further an image of the military as being small-minded and uneducated.
For many in our country who are not involved in the military, but have listened and watched this debate, the whole notion of living a double life is really quite pre-Stonewall. Most Americans in 2010 know gay people, and poll after poll shows a strong level of support for a variety of ever-more rights to ensure equality is provided regardless of sexual orientation. When citizens see the outcome of the vote today in the Senate there will be disbelief at the disconnect between what is happening in their neighborhood versus what aging politicians are doing in Washington. After all, gay dates for high school proms are no longer uncommon but the U.S. military is still able to punish gay men and women who want to serve their country with their head held high.
As I have talked about this matter over and over with friends this past year I keep coming back to one question. Why would any intelligent and self-confident young man or woman coming out of high school want to join the military? Why would any well-reasoned and educated person want to enter an organization that is so disjointed and illogical when it comes to human sexuality?
I do not personally know any active enlisted members of the military. But during my life I have known a number of valedictorians. Two are in my family. My partner James, along with a niece Katrina Pfaff, had the honor of representing their class on graduation day. In addition my niece’s father Darvin was also a valedictorian.
I have known only two people (neither were family and both were casual acquaintances) who served in Iraq, and in each case they were stationed there for less than a year. In one case it was only for a few months, and the young man spent most of it on a base. When he returned he told of the type of stunted social development some of his fellow soldiers had, and how uncomfortable it made him to hear the way they talked about the people and country where they were stationed. The words they used were not the ones he heard at home, or ever uttered on his own.
While my dad served in World War II, and a few uncles were in this or that branch of the armed forces, none of their children made the military a destination when they reached adult age. No one in my high school made the military a career, and the vast majority never even made the military a pit-stop on the road to the future. I think most people have the same experience as I have had. Most people do not know someone personally in the armed forces.
Why is that?
Does it not warp the way we feel about war and the policies of the nation if we do not at least know one person involved in the conflict? It is different to have a young man from the larger community shredded by a road side bomb than to have a son or cousin meet the same fate. Does that fact make a difference when we condone this or that military adventure. I think it does.
I bring this all up today because I truly think policies such as DADT is far more dangerous than just because it works to stigmatize gay people in uniform. I really think this policy, and other ‘jar-necked’ notions, creates an atmosphere where a whole segment of the country says “I want my kid to go to college and not get messed up in the army.” That may sound elitist, but it is an honest statement that is played out over and over coast to coast in living rooms and kitchens every day. The military is seen as red-neck and most parents want their kids to have a different direction in life. That is proved by the fact so many Americans do not know someone serving in the military.
And it will continue to be that way as long as in the military “sand-monkey” is thought to be a funny term, and those who can quote Thoreau are ‘fags’.
There could have been a strong signal sent today about the modern military understanding that society has changed, and they needed to change too. Instead the lowest common denominator ‘won’ the day. And somewhere tonight an educated parent with a good job is telling his wife that “our kids are going to college, they are not getting into the military.” It has nothing to do with being gay, but it does have everything to do with what image they want their family to have, and a deeper sense of what parents want their kids to connect with as adults.
Who can blame any parent for wanting the best for their children?
My brother-in-law is one of the men and women serving in the military today. He keeps claiming that having openly gay people in the service will be bad for unit cohesion and more. I have asked him several times how it is ok for straight male soldiers and straight female soldiers to be boinking each other–how often do we see on the news and such, “They were such a loving couple who met in the Army!” Why is it that sex and talk about sex is then not prohibited for EVERYONE! In any other workplace in the country, fraternization between employees will land you a sexual harassment case–in the military, that’s ok?
I have also asked my brother-in-law why he thinks that every gay man wants him. It doesn’t work that way for straight people, so why should it for gay men? Moreover, if we are expecting our men and women to be brave enough to defend our country against insurgent forces, and they can’t even fend of the unwanted advance of a potential sex partner, how do we expect them to be successful. Are we sending an Army of pussies over there, or what?!
While I agree that DADT should be repealed, I’m not sure if this necessary means that all educated people immediately look away from the option of going into the military simply because of close minded policies like it.
I recall that in high school we had the military come in to school and during our junior year we took a test called the ASVAB. A majority of people did horrible, unless you knew math, engineering, and mechanical things very well. I myself got a 27 out of 99 on the test, ranked by percentile. To get into the military you need at least a 36 on the test, and for certain branches like the Air Force somewhere in the 50′s I believe. While my score was below that of even the bottom limit, I graduated 12th in my class out around 600 students. And from my graduating class I knew at least 5 or 6 people going straight to military to serve, some of them much brighter than myself. Therefore I don’t see your connection there.
I also am recalling what a friend of mine told me about his experience in the Boy Scouts. He accomplished the goal of Eagle Scout recently but has a very similar story to tell. One of his scout leaders had been part of BSA for some twenty years. He expressed to some of the scouts that he was homosexual, and the BSA immediately removed him from his position. He had volunteered 20 years of his life to this organization and something he had hidden for so long ended his job. Is that right?
It is similar to DADT because in both cases sexual orientation should not matter, whether your fighting and sacrificing for your country or teaching American youths basic skills. It shouldn’t matter. That’s the real core of the problem.
“Why would any well-reasoned and educated person want to enter an organization that is so disjointed and illogical when it comes to human sexuality?”
How incredibly solipsistic. Maybe the answer is that because not everyone sees human sexuality as the be-all-end-all issue of the universe as you do nor is it the primary factor in determining what to do with their lives. There is more to military service than the sexual orientation of its membership.
It is the rhetoric of the left that stereotypes the military as a refuge for the uneducated. Consider John Kerry’s comments during the last campaign.
I’ve had many friends who have served in the military. They do dangerous and sophisticated jobs involving a real command of technology, people skills, organizational ability, and guts. Those who served are not lawyers, dentists, contractors, mechanics, and the like.
Likewise, a regualr stream of graduates from my high school enter the service. Despite the constand barage of hollywood movies which portray soldiers as monsters and losers, they are motivated first by a desire to serve and then a desire to improve themselves. All this despite the slanders of people like fat Murtha who shoot off their fat mouths before the facts are in. I was proud when at the last graduation they were asked to stand and be recognized to loud and prolonged applause.
That being said, I hope there comes a time–and there will–when homosexuals are no big deal in the military, when nobody cares. I also hope the left will reconsider its own attitudes toward the military.