Gay Marriage Massachusetts Style

A nicely written and well thought out article on the great social issue of our times, that being gay marriage, found the front cover of the New York Times Magazine this weekend.  After reading about the young gay couples that married I found myself, not surprisingly, very much in agreement with the tone and style of the article.  Gay married couples are compatible and more than normal.  Benoit Denizet-Lewis does a superb job of bringing real gay married relationships to the eyes of the reader.  Bravo.

Joshua and Benjamin were deeply committed to each other by the time Benjamin graduated from Brown in May 2004, the same month that Massachusetts began issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples. Marrying “seemed obvious and inevitable,” Benjamin told me, because he and Joshua had no doubt that they would spend the rest of their lives together. “It seemed silly,” he said, “not to get married when we were fortunate enough to live in the only state where we could.” (Vermont, Connecticut, New Hampshire and New Jersey have legalized civil unions for same-sex couples, while Maine, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, California and the District of Columbia allow domestic partnerships. More than 40 states prohibit recognition of same-sex marriages from Massachusetts.)

Both of their families were supportive. “My parents didn’t have a problem with me marrying a guy,” Benjamin said. “Their only question was, ‘Aren’t you a little too young to be doing this?’

“Oh, my parents said the same thing,” Joshua huffed. “But you know what I told the parental units? I said, ‘I don’t want to hear it, because at our age you were married and pregnant with us.’ That shut everyone right up, and soon enough our parents were fighting over who would get to pay for the wedding!”

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But I could also relate to young gay men yearning for companionship and emotional security. Had gay marriage been an option when I was 23 and recently out of the closet, I might very well have proposed to my first gay love. Like many gay men my age and older, I grew up believing that gay men in a happy long-term relationship was an oxymoron. (I entered high school in 1989, before gay teenagers started taking their boyfriends to the prom.) If I was lucky enough to find love, I thought, I’d better hold onto it. And part of me tried, but a bigger part of me wanted to pitch a tent in my favorite gay bar. I wasn’t alone. Everywhere I looked, gay men in their 20s — or, if they hadn’t come out until later, their 30s, 40s and 50s — seemed to be eschewing commitment in favor of the excitement promised by unabashedly sexualized urban gay communities. There was a reason, of course, why so many gay men my age and older seemed intent on living a protracted adolescence: We had been cheated of our actual adolescence. While most of our heterosexual peers had experienced, in their teens, socialization around courtship, dating and sexuality, many of us had grown up closeted and fearful, “our most precious and tender feelings rarely validated or reflected back to us by our families and communities,” as Alan Downs, the author of “The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World,” puts it. When we managed to express our sexuality, the experience often came booby-trapped with secrecy, manipulation or debilitating shame.

Technorati Tags: GayRights, GayMarriage, NewYorkTimes, Massachusetts, CivilRights

U.S. Military Tried To Stop Gay Spouse Of Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin From Trip

The military needs to have a long series of sensitivity classes.

I know that the military, for the most part, has a wrong-headed problem with gay Americans serving openly in the armed forces. The military seems to forget that gay citizens also wish to fulfill their view of what being a patriotic American demands.  The law about ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ is horribly wrong and outdated, and needs to be discarded.  But when the military brass thought they could keep a gay spouse to current elected member of Congress Tammy Baldwin from Madison, Wisconsin off a plane, I had to do a double take at the headline.  Surely no military jar-neck (jughead) would think they had balls big enough for that?  Why would anyone even try…..or want to? 

The Pentagon balked at U.S. Rep. Tammy Baldwin’s domestic partner accompanying her on a military flight for a congressional trip to Europe, officials said.The Politico reported Tuesday that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi intervened before Congress’ Easter break so the Wisconsin Democrat, the only openly lesbian member of Congress, could be joined by her partner.The Web site reported that House rules allow members of Congress to take their spouses with them on military flights if there is room for them and when it is “necessary for protocol purposes.”But the Defense Department did not consider Lauren Azar a “spouse.”

Clearly there is a need for review of all the nonsense type laws that only aim to foster hate and discrimation.   

Pentagon spokesperson Geoff Morrell said it is not a case of the military attempting to impose “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” on members of Congress. Rep. Barney Frank told the Politico he thinks the issue is much deeper.

“I think the military was following orders,” Frank said. “I think the administration disapproves of same-sex marriage.”
It is not the first time the administration has been accused of LGBT discrimination.  A bill currently is before Congress to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” the ban on gays serving openly in the military. The White House has threatened to veto the inclusion of hate crime legislation aimed at protecting gays and lesbians.  And, it opposes any form of ENDA. Baldwin has been an outspoken advocate for an all-inclusive form of ENDA.
Last year the US ambassador to Romania, Michael Guest, resigned after the State Department refused to recognize his same-sex partner.

Baldwin sent a letter to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice last month calling for basic protections for LGBT State Department employees that would include allowing domestic partners of foreign service officers to travel and stay with them.
Former Attorney General John Ashcroft ended a policy that allowed a Justice Department LGBT group to post notices of its meetings on DOJ bulletin boards and distribute such messages through the department’s e-mail system. The decision was reversed this year by new Attorney General, Michael Mukasey.
In addition, Special Counsel Scott Bloch, the man responsible for protecting whistleblowers and investigating complaints of discrimination by federal workers, refused to take on complaints of discrimination based on sexuality.
Technorati Tags: TammyBaldwin, Congress, GayRights, Don’tAskDon’tTell, DefenseDepartment,

Is First Amendment The Primary Rule For Blogs And Newspaper Forums?

This past week I had to make a decision about whether to post a certain comment from a reader or not on this blog.  The person wrote a very long and highly charged response to a political post here, and made it sound as if ‘any means’ to stop the election of a person to the White House might mean more than defeating a candidate at the ballot box.  It was way over the top, and really quite reprehensible.  The comment was deleted. 

The comment raises yet again a most interesting set of questions in this new world we live in, as we obtain more news and information from online sources.  Blog sites are not the only ones in need of some answers, as newspapers that have online forum sites where the public can weigh in with conversation on a whole set of topics, also might be in need of guidance. 

While no one should have any concern about deleting the type of comment mentioned above, there does seem to be questions about other types of offensive speech.  I admit I have no clear answers to the issues that confront bloggers and other type of forums.  I do however have a series of questions.

For instance, how far should a blogger allow a person to comment on racially divisive matters regarding immigration when the words used are the kind intelligent people would not use in dinner conversation?  Should I allow a person to use the “N’ word here on my blog while commenting, when I would not want to read it on another’s blog?  Or in the online forum section of The New York Times?

Perhaps more murky and questionable is the role and responsibility that we have as bloggers.  Do I have a responsibility to insure accuracy (as best I can) over issues that have major consequences? 

For example if a comment paints Iraq as being responsible for 9/11 (it was not) do I allow that to be published knowing that far too many thought it to be true, and it added to the national mood that resulted in a war?  False information repeated endlessly has a way of becoming the truth.  Do I want to be a part of the echo chamber of lies?  We all witnessed that very thing, as we all know too well, and now continue to pay the price for being lied to as a nation.

When charges fly in hate filled messages about Barack Obama and his faith, and readers try to paint him as a radical Muslim do I have a duty to stop the lies since Obama is a Christian?  (Forget for the moment that religion should not even play a role in the first place when deciding a leader for our nation.)  Do I have a higher responsibility to the First Amendment by allowing dreadfully false comments to be posted, or to the facts about the man who could be our next President if we do not allow lies from preventing it?

If someone were to verbally gay-bash in a comment to a post should I have ethical qualms if I delete it?  Or should I consider all conversation to be equal and part of the larger dialogue that can now happen as a result of the internet age we live in?  

These questions have gripped me for some time and I have mixed answers.  Am I a blogger AND a gatekeeper?  If I am a gatekeeper then do I undermine the civil rights I champion when fighting for freedom of speech?

As we journey down the technology road these are issues and questions that need to be addressed.  I know that this blog is but a drop in the ocean, and yet I feel a duty to act in a responsible manner.  For the most part I have very few examples of the shallow end of the swamp posting here on my blog.  Most of that type are not reading my liberal blog from Madison.  But after the comment that needed to be deleted this past week I have a new found sense of  what many others deal with on perhaps a more frequent basis. 

I trust they also are concerned about the larger issues that develop as a result.

Technorati Tags: FirstAmendment, Blogs, NewspaperForum, FreeSpeech, Censorship

Notable Folks Who Never Lived To See Society Mature Over Gay Rights

WCBS-TV made a slide show of notable folks who lived lives of fame, but never lived to see the changes in society regarding gay rights.  Many people didn’t live to see a time when they would not find it “out to be out.”  Included is Will Geer…yes…the actor who played grandpa on the CBS drama “The Waltons”  There are 87 photos in this presentation.

Technorati Tags: WCBS, GayRights, Society

Washington Times Updates Style Guide Over Gay Marriage And Immigrants

I do not think I have ever mentioned The Washington Times on my blog before.  The paper is just too conservative, but more importantly less than objective in the way they report the news.  I guess there might be something also about the paper being founded and owned by Rev. Sun Myung Moon that makes me less inclined to read it.  But today there is news to report in how the paper will write news stories.  Salon writes that “the quotation marks will come off gay marriage (preferred over homosexual marriage.)”

Also “Gay is approved for copy and preferred over homosexual, except in clinical references or references to sexual activity”

It is a small step to be sure, but a nasty habit that is now gone from the paper.  In addition there will be a style change to another issue that confronts the nation. 

“We will use illegal immigrants, not illegal aliens.”

One still must ask why these types of changes took so long.  We can only applaud the new executive editor John Solomon.

Technorati Tags: GayRights, GayMarriage, WashingtonTimes, Media, Conservatives, Rev.SunMyungMoon

Karl Rove Can Not Find Harm If Gay Couples Marry

This blog has never waivered from knowing that there is absolutely no justification for denying gay couples the right to marry in America.  I have repeatedly asked exactly who is harmed by allowing loving gay couples to marry?   The answer is always the same.  No one is harmed.  Now even Karl Rove, who was asked the question by a very persistent student at Choate prep school on Monday, also can not state how anyone is harmed by gay marriages.

Marla Spivak, a senior from Hamden, was one of the students invited to have lunch earlier with Rove. That left her somewhat emboldened as she stood before the crowd and asked Rove to explain how giving gay people the right to marry would endanger other people.

Rove took issue with the way the first gay marriages came about, through the Massachusetts Supreme Court. An issue as important as the definition of marriage should be resolved by a legislature or a referendum, not a court, he said.

Gay couples could gain the legal rights of married couples through legislation without actually getting married, he said.

But wouldn’t creating a separate body of legislation for gay people be creating a separate but equal system, a step back?, Spivak asked.

Rove replied with an answer about Mormons changing their views on marriage to conform with the nation’s laws.

Spivak kept pressing. “You never actually answered, how does it threaten anyone?” she asked.

Rove asked, what’s the compelling reason to throw out 5,000 years of understanding the institution of marriage as between a man and a woman?

What, Spivak countered, was the compelling reason for society to allow interracial relationships when they had once been outlawed.

Then Rove invoked the Declaration of Independence before Spivak interjected that its reference to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” seemed to support her claims.

The fact is that only narrow-minded bigotry remains as the roadblock for insuring that all couples who desire to be married can not do so.  It is that same bigorty that means many couples are not treated fairly under the laws of the United States.  Even Karl Rove, by not being able to respond with concrete examples….NOT ONE…speaks volumes about the real reason that over 1,000 rights enjoyed by a heterosexual married couple are denied to a gay couple.

It all boils down to bigotry and small-mindedness.

Technorati Tags: KarlRove, , GayMarriage, CivilRights, Gay, Choate, Bigotry

Congressman Barney Frank, The Gay Boyfriend, And President Bush

As President Bush walked into the House of Representatives to give his State of the Union address he bumped into Congressman Barney Frank, who was on the phone with his boyfriend.

Read the whole story here.  This is a great read.

Technorati Tags: BarneyFrank, PresidentBush, GayRights, GayMarriage, Congress,

Good Religious News Due To Jimmy Carter

It is always upsetting to me when I hear people say they are not as religious as they want to be due to the political sharpness of the large religious institutions and churches in America.  It seems that often there is more concern from some pulpits about the next elections in this country, than about the spiritual needs of the folks in the pews.  Or I hear that groups of people face continual demonizing from those who claim a closer walk with God.   I hear these sentiments often from younger people that the politicization of religion has turned them off to worship services on Sunday.  In conversations people express unease about the mixing of religion and politics in general.   During these conversations I hear not only a dislike of the overt politics from the pulpit, but a true concern about the long term effects for both the political and religious institutions that are involved.

In an effort to mend the divides that were caused by the strident certainty of the Southern Baptist Convention, the other large Baptist groups in America that represent 20 million Americans, will gather this week to chart a new course.  One that will leave the dark ages of bashing certain groups and demonizing others, and concentrate instead on reaching out and forming larger working groups to spread the faith and nurture souls.  In other words taking religion back to the place it once was, and should be.

As The New York Times reports there is not a new domination in the making, but a more sensible and high-minded approach to spreading the Gospel.

The meeting’s statement of shared purpose, known as its covenant, calls for Baptists to focus on their traditional values, like “sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ,” and to work together on social issues like fighting poverty.

Former President Jimmy Carter has been working on this issue for years, after recognizing the needs of the religious community.

“I would like to see a demonstration that Christians who have different backgrounds and different political and theological orientations and geographical locations can come together in the spirit of unity,” Mr. Carter said, “not just for Baptists, but for Christians all over the world.”

Among the religious organizations in attendance will be the four major black Baptist conventions, which three years ago came together to fashion their first united stand in almost a century on social and economic issues and to bury past differences.

Other groups include those that split with the Southern Baptist Convention over slavery in the 1800s and those that departed more recently because of the increasingly conservative slant of the denomination in modern times. That shift ushered in a more conservative theology that focuses on issues like abortion and gay rights. Southern Baptists also assert that only men can be church pastors and leaders of the household, which was another issue that alienated some adherents.

“The first thing to recognize is that the Southern Baptist Convention has moved very much to the right, became very fundamentalist, embraced certain American cultural values as though ordained by God and married the Religious Right,” said the Rev. Tony Campolo, an American Baptist minister and a speaker at the gathering.

The social consequences of not countering the effects that Southern Baptists currently have on limiting spiritual discovery is an unsettling idea.  To be branded with all the ‘principles’ and stereotypes that come with a connection to a church or a relationship with Jesus Christ while under the umbrella of Southern evangelicals turns many Americans off.  As time goes by those numbers only increase.

Jimmy Carter correctly understands the need to move religion forward so that it is again based on improving lives.

This weeks meetings will be interesting to watch unfold.

Technorati Tags: JimmyCarter, NewYorkTimes, SouthernBaptistConvention, Gay,

Dan Savage On Mike Huckabee, Gays, And Conservatives

I enjoy when conservatives get tripped up.  And Dan Savage is just great as he talks with goobers in South Carolina about gay rights.  Dan Savage is the perfect guy to send up against those who are bigots.  And they just happen to support Mike Huckabee!

Technorati Tags: DanSavage, MikeHuckkabee, Election08, Republicans, Conservatives, Gays, Religion

Mike Huckabee Links Homosexuality And Necrophilia

And freaky people will go out on a cold night in January to a caucus in Iowa and support this man for President!

This is incredible!

Technorati Tags: MikeHuckabee, Election08, Gayrights, Conservatives, Religion

Mike Huckabee: Homosexuality Could “Pose A Dangerous Public Health Risk”

If you are sick of the new requirement in the race for the White House that first a candidate must run as ‘pastor in chief”, than I suggest you read this piece.  The need for the evangelicals to find one like themselves has been found in Mike Huckabee.  And it smells bad.  The fact that Huckabee has played to the lowest common denominator for years should concern us all.  As Politico reports the news might hurt his chances at the nomination.

Besides a quarantine, Huckabee suggested that Hollywood celebrities fund AIDS research from their own pockets, rather than federal health agencies.

“If the federal government is truly serious about doing something with the AIDS virus, we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague,” Huckabee wrote.

“It is difficult to understand the public policy towards AIDS. It is the first time in the history of civilization in which the carriers of a genuine plague have not been isolated from the general population, and in which this deadly disease for which there is no cure is being treated as a civil rights issue instead of the true health crisis it represents.”

When Huckabee wrote his answers in 1992, it was common knowledge that AIDS could not be spread by casual contact.

Also in the wide-ranging AP questionnaire in 1992, Huckabee said, “I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk.”

What a moron.  And Mike, that is different from a Mormon!

Technorati Tags: Yahoo, MikeHuckabee, AIDS, Homosexuality, GayRights, Arkansas
 Politico

Wisconsin Representative Steve Wieckert Hypocrite Of The Day

There are times when I wonder how some Wisconsin elected officials look at themselves in the mirror in the morning, and not burst out laughing.  I wonder at other times if they consider how they became so disgusting.  If I seem a bit blunt today it is due to the latest example of what political posturing, and bigotry looks likes when it is combined. 

Representative Steve Wieckert shows us today.

Wieckert was opposed to the idea, when it came time for a vote in the Legislature, to allow all loving couples in Wisconsin to share in the same rights of marriage and the resulting benefits.   He was one of those ‘bright lights’ that made sure there was a constitutional amendment that placed civil rights up for a statewide vote.  Anyone who ever argues that civil rights are are such an unimportant thing that they can be put on a ballot, is full of political malarkey.  Wieckert in the past has rambled on about the sanctity of marriage, and how it had to be defended.  He was never able to concisely inform anyone what exactly it needed to be defended from, but that is the way with these types of Republicans.

But now the Appleton Republican has released a message for a bill he is pushing (LRB 0859) stating  “Marriage is a wonderful thing.  It is something that should be encouraged, not discouraged.”  Did Wieckert include gay people in this bill draft? The disconnect from his previous bile is so stark that it makes anyone with an IQ above the outdoor temperature to sit up and puke.

There are days when the hypocrisy meter in the Statehouse hits red.  This is one of those times.  And I suspect that Wieckert has no inkling that he has done anything wrong.  I bet that he has no awareness that he has argued marriage from both sides.  I also strongly suspect that he has no idea of the disadvantage that his stand against allowing gay people to marry, or to join in civil unions, has effected many Wisconsinites.  The only thing that ever matters to those like Wieckert is how much more power they can assume.  And how recklessly they can wield it.

This is what happens when we allow conservatives to use gay people as wedge issues and political pawns for their own gain.  It is pathetic, and the public should call Representative Wieckert on it.

Technorati Tags: , SteveWieckert, GayRights, CivilUnions, GayMarriage, Appleton, Wisconsin, Madison, Republicans, Conservatives,