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“Obey” Not In Royal Wedding Vows

April 28, 2011

I should hope that word “obey” would not appear in any wedding vow anywhere anymore!

Following the lead of Princess Diana, who took the similarly eschewed the word when she married Prince Charles in 1981, Kate Middleton will not promise to “obey” Prince William in her wedding vows, according to a report in the Daily Mail. It is a word that is very old-school, and often excluded from modern weddings, but for the Royals, Princess Diana’s decision broke with protocol and caused controversy.

Given that this is not the first time a royal wedding will remove the word “obey” from the vows, Kate Middleton is likely to face less flak than Princess Di did. However, others that followed Di kept the “obey” vow in their weddings. Sarah Ferguson and Sophie Rhys-Jones both promised to obey, in 1986 and 1999 respectively.

That said, the report indicated that the soon-to-be royal couple has agreed together what they will say in their vows. Middleton will promise that she will “love, comfort, honor and keep” her new husband.

  1. candy permalink
    July 7, 2011 3:16 PM


  2. Dave permalink
    May 1, 2011 3:48 PM

    They did not remove the word “obey” because it was never in there in the first place. Diana didn’t say it; Catherine didn’t say it and my copy of the 1929 BCP doesn’t have the word in there. The word “obey” ever being in the vows is some sort of myth.

  3. Grizzly permalink
    April 29, 2011 1:14 AM

    It is a mistaken assumption that when a bride says she will obey it means she is going to be subservient. Obedience has to do with trust, with listening, and recognizing that in a family you have different functions. There are times when the husband will rightly obey the wife because she knows better and is the lead in that area. The partnership is equal and leadership in a good marriage always shifts. To say obey in a wedding vow means ‘I trust you to make decisions that are for the good of the family.’ It’s no big deal.

  4. mlerc permalink
    April 28, 2011 6:09 PM

    Cannot even imagine removing the word ‘obey’ is even under discussion. Aside from the subservient word that does not imply a partnership of a marriage, I had those words removed from my wedding in the late 60’s. Certainly nothing new. Replaced it with readings about love and partnership.

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