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Wedding Couple Should Never Ask For Money In Lieu Of Gifts -Wedding Guests Are Not Cash Cows

June 23, 2012

I am quite sure that the gay couple that made news this week with their wedding did not ask for money from wedding guests.

But how should one look at a wedding couple who does seek money when mailing a wedding invitation?  That topic came up last evening while talking with a friend on our front lawn.    While we were sure there was no way asking for cash at a wedding was a sound idea as it sounds so tacky, I still promised to look into the question.  Since this blog leans eclectic I thought I would post my findings.

Miss Manners lays it out quite clearly.  She says no to Cash Gifts!

Asking for cash gifts is a Wedding Etiquette blunder. Miss Manners says that asking for cash gifts makes the bride and groom look greedy. Even if the couples want to donate the cash gifts to charity, Miss Manners is still against the couple who will plead for cash gifts. Whichever way one may look at it, people will think that couples who ask for cash gifts have a mark of greed on their foreheads.

One very short letter to Miss Manners simply asks her “What would be the tactful way to say “no presents but a money tree”?” to which Miss Manners’ equally simple yet caustic reply is, “Never mind all that junk – just gimme your wallet”!

It is just tacky–white trash tacky–to ask for money from wedding guests for anything. 

Lets make it crystal clear–Only gimme-pigs regard their wedding guests as cash cows.

  1. Morgan Sheridan permalink
    June 23, 2012 11:06 AM

    Of course Ms. Manners does say asking for money in lieu of gifts is declasse`. And it is among the upper classes. But there are cultural folkways where a “honeymoon” or “money dance” at weddings are done as a way of helping the young couple set up housekeeping, particularly among immigrant communities. It is always interesting when folkways run headlong against high society manners. With the increasing breakdown of the middle class and downward descent into genteel poverty, this gal says keep an open heart and an extra 5 or 10 in your wallet to pin on the groom’s coats for that money dance.

  2. Dr. Leo Marvin permalink
    June 23, 2012 10:09 AM

    James, get a hose on Deke…he’s on fire!! I just took a Cheerio into my lung while reading the posts this morning. WOW!

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